Be A Good Partner—Build Community

How to Beat Technological Distancing

Today, we are faced with an increasing reality of social separation and perhaps angst as a result. In my 60 years, I don’t remember a time when touchiness—latent anger or frustration—lay just under the surface of people’s careful mask of otherwise regularness. The littlest things set masks ajar to reveal a Pandora or an ogre. It is getting so that you don’t want to strike up a conversation because it may unleash an incident of unmasked vitriol.

I’m a social butterfly in some respects. In Meyer-Briggs personality terms, I am what is known as a ‘low-E’ ISTJ. This means I am generally an introvert, but I can effectively switch to extrovert mode when necessary. Just today, my wife Pam and I went to the farmer’s market here in Kearney, NE. Her admonition to me upon arriving was, “We’re not here to talk to everyone in 40 counties, to sell books, or strike up conversations.” This sounds controlling, but I tend towards “mixing it up” when I get out of the house. I know a few folks around town, which invariably means I’m gonna end up chewing the fat (not gossiping) with someone. True to form, between the Farmer’s Market and Art in the Park, I found five different people I knew—and we talked.

Human connection is one of the most significant aspects of life. We thrive on being recognizable, meaning something to others, or being known for various things. However, the internet and social media shatter this most necessary of human needs. Social media is said to “connect people and facilitate communication globally. …Platforms allow users to share information, and express themselves…”¹ It is said to “build relations, communities, and networks…”² These descriptions aren’t wrong. Still, they are not half of what it actually does.

While there is a bit of truth to the notions offered above. The reality is that social media fosters loneliness, disconnectedness, and most of all—angst about what is happening that you can’t control. Here are two articles that support my comment: (one), and (two). These explore the impact of technology on social relationships. My point is that technology has put humanity in a form of confinement: we have access to information, but no means to do much with it.

One of my favorite writers, Jacques Ellul, was a French philosopher and sociologist who was a longtime professor of History and the Sociology of Institutions on the Faculty of Law and Economic Sciences at the University of Bordeaux. Among the eight books of Ellul that I’ve read, his title, The Technological Society, is of special interest here. Ellul was 70 years ahead of his time on this particular discussion. I wish to share two excerpts that ought to pique your attention.

Technique has penetrated the deepest recesses of the human being. The machine tends not only to create a new human environment, but also to modify man’s very essence. The milieu in which he lives is no longer his. He must adapt himself, as though the world were new, to a universe for which he was not created. He was made to go six kilometers an hour, and he goes a thousand. He was made to eat when he was hungry and to sleep when he was sleepy. Instead, he obeys a clock. He was made to have contact with living things, yet, he lives in a world of stone. He was created with a particular essential unity, and he is fragmented by all the forces of the modern world.

---

If man—if each one of us—abdicates his responsibilities about values; if each one of us limits himself to leading a trivial existence in a technological civilization, with greater adaptation and increasing success as his sole objectives; if we do not even consider the possibility of making a stand against these determinants, then everything will happen as I have described it, and the determinates will be transformed into inevitabilities.

What Can We Do?

The point is that we must forge an alternative path. Many want to “fight the system.” More often than not, becoming an alternative is the best way forward. This means we are resolute within a context, but differentiated as an alternative to the thesis of the day. Technology is the grand reductionism of culture, morals, community, standards, reservation, and means to exert any of these facets. Only, not really! The Amish are a fine example of extreme differentiation that is quite livable. For those who can’t or won’t embrace such austerity, we have to intentionally live a different way still than the masses being overtaken by mediocrity.

Here are Eight Ways to Experience Community in a Technological World

1. Find those online who help you think and grow as a person

2. Friend them, subscribe, and private message them

3. Find others in those haunts and begin to reach out

4. Share, on your social media platforms, what you’ve learned and provide links from where you learned it

5. If you’re a blogger, content creator, or social media user, create backlinks to other people’s material regularly

6. Gain greater connection with those you interact with, as you would people of in-person interactions

7. Keep in touch regularly with the people in these digital circles

8. Stay away from political subjects or opinions (theirs or yours)

One:

People from oppressed regions in the world come to a free-market society and are paralyzed by options at the supermarket. The internet and social media put us into a similar situation. Information was formerly limited to availability and time to access it. That’s all out the window. Now, we can be gobsmacked by the sheer magnitude of content. We can continually fall down the rabbit hole, utterly missing connection and interaction at a substantive level.

We need discipline to stay within our interests and needs. Secondly, we need to find our niche—our belonging—in enclaves where we can interact. As with neighborhoods, one does well to choose carefully: the locale. Deciding who you work with should involve even greater care. Don’t choose 100 of the same things. Who would go to the supermarket and get 20 different bottles of mustard?

My interests tend to lay in history, biography, writing, 16th-century Anabaptism, gardening, discipleship, photography, movies, and dialogue. In any one of these pockets of interests, one could go 15 directions. I am trying to develop as a person in mindfulness, reading, and the application of godliness that I observe in groups where I spend time.

Application: Pick things and dig in. Gather yourself into a simple cadre of interests that develop you as a person.

Example: Recently, at an Amish Conference, I learned about two historical characters, Hans Denck and Pilgram Marpeck—unique figures within 16th-century Anabaptism. Now I can research these. At my July 12^th involvement, Art in the Park, a photographer mentioned “focus stacking,” which is a subject I want to understand better.

Photo from - https://wildmacro.de/macro-photography-focus-stacking-or-single-shot/

Two:

The internet, being what it is, offers a vast field of content in various formats. Find sources that are published by real people. Find sources that publish primary source content, bibliographies, or specific details on new approaches. The real people behind the content you can talk to, ask questions, and have meaningful interactions with. This approach will keep you from A.I. content, which is often tepid and shallow, not to mention unrelatable.

Quite often, I will contact writers and creators about their material. This leads to rich interaction in some areas. You can also find out if the person is a dynamic practitioner, or just a theorist. I look for the practitioners, but sometimes I find posers.

Application: Find three to five sources of content created by a living soul. Compare them. If there are differences, research them. But the objective is to connect whatever it is with people. Reach out, ask questions.

Example: For years, I’ve written and sold a lot of books. I attended a writer’s conference to network locally and try to connect with a figure I’ve been trying to reach—being prevented by his gatekeeper network. This person turned out to be a self-absorbed jerk. I’ve met people 10 times as famous who showed more grace. The conference, despite having 400 people in attendance, was subpar. Thus, the attempt to connect on many levels was seriously limited.

Three:

Within a particular sub-group many could be—or may not be—substantive; to say nothing of reciprocative or mutual. That’s a chance you must take. The old gambling adage plays well here: you can’t win if you don’t play. Exert yourself towards people and enclaves—until you find a fit—meaning a dynamic of synergy and the allowance to grow. Continue the reach-out process. Ask questions, express interest in others, and probe in a non-threatening way. If people react, that says more about them than it does about you—if you haven’t been too forward.

Application: Measure the response and temperament of interaction. Don’t look for warm fuzzies. Look for those who have the tendency toward give-and-take dialogue. You need to find interactions that spawn growth and good involvement, which does not quell broad thinking or personal conviction.

Example: I attend a bible study—one of several. At one point, there is a guy who turns any and all conversations back on himself. Everything becomes an entrée (definition no. 3) to proving/justifying his theological mindset. Attendance, with him present, is most often an exercise of patience/toleration. Quite frequently, he supplants discussion or its intended direction. Converse to this: I attend Amish events—as a driver or inquisitive type. I have yet to have a negative experience. I can ask about almost anything, and no one is annoyed or reactionary. Most often, dialogue is spirited. They are not highly sensitive—other than if I were to show up in Bermuda shorts and a wife-beater shirt.

Four:

Early on in life I learned that sharing what has come into my understanding is a great way to drive it further into consciousness. When we memorize something, write it, read it aloud—as we’re writing it, and saying it; we will retain 70 percent more of the content. In the same way, sharing a discovery does this as well. Invariably, dialogue will occur, which helps drive applied understanding. But a residual effect results: community is built. Others learn with us. The provider can be included in your sharing —IF— you cite your source. Key point here! Share links to stuff you’ve found improving or enlightening.

Application: Regularly share your findings and discoveries, citing the source. This encourages everyone, especially the writer or content producer. Share with the creator what you shared with others. This drives community because it fosters interaction.

Example: I regularly share sources and good places. As I travel, I take pictures of the food and joints where I eat, sharing thoughts online in Google reviews. These are touchpoints for everyone. Goodreads is another platform for interaction and connection—regarding what we read. I like this platform because it gives several ways to connect.

Five:

One of the most challenging things as a content creator is getting backlinks. By sharing with a creator, whom you are lauding, you give them the opportunity to express gratitude. You can then ask them to create a backlink to your content in their work. Commending a source, directly or by providing a citation link, creates a network effect. When the source backlinks to you, it closes the circuit. Look for this mutuality. Ultimately, we are trying to develop an alternative to the faceless, unconnected existence that is technology. It’s a way of humanizing and being humanized in and otherwise impersonal world of the technological society.

Application: Start looking for people of note in your areas of interest and learning, which you can connect with. If you’re a creator, share with them what you’re doing and how their work has affected you. People like to know that they are making an impact. These interactions may become synergistic. The internet is vast, and many people don’t know you exist until you take the initiative to share with them in specific ways.

Example: I am always creating links to others. A few times, creators have created backlinks to what I do. Wade Burleson, of Istoria Ministry, is a top-100 Christian Blogger. He’s created links back to my work and networked on several different levels. Having a person like him, or four to five for that matter, raises your presence and impact.

Six:

Remember, connection with others—producers and everyday people is what builds community. IN the digital world, as in day-to-day life, genuine connection is key. In real life, at least in mine, I send thank yous, I call, I email, and so forth. In the digital world, we should seek an increasing involvement with people, too. The digital world is fleeting. But relationships that move beyond tapping a keyboard increase the vigor and actuality of our involvements. The more connected our interactions are, the greater chance of raising substance, meaning, and impact.

Application: Write people on sites or platforms. Ask questions or share a thought. Compliment. Genuineness and substance are required. Contact shouldn’t be casual or contact for contact’s sake. People are busy. Don’t bother them with triviality.

Example: TJ Stiles is a fantastic biographical writer. I read his book, Jesse James: The Last Rebel of the Civil War. It was riveting! But I noticed that he used Passive Voice frequently in his account of Jesse James. I contacted him to share my admiration for the book. In time, I asked him through email why he used Passive Voice, explaining that as a writer, I struggle with it. Radio silence followed. Conversely, I’ve communicated for years with N.T. Wright and Doug Bandow. I don’t say as much to brag, but rather to show that folks are approachable and that some lead to bigger things. Bandow has now endorsed two of my books, which, for this Nebraska Hillbilly, that is huge!

Seven:

Interaction is endless, but it forms substance and depth over time. I call people all the time. Internet interaction is a bit more tenuous. In today’s world, one cannot be too careful—just ask John Lennon. Build credibility and the basis for respect. But do not pepper people—unnecessarily. Substance is key! How they can be helpful to you—should they prove willing—is valuable to them. Attention to detail is also essential. Folks like to know they meant something to you beyond contact and that you paid attention.

Application: Take note of what you communicate personally to others. How often, what type, and perhaps what the response is. Keep the dialog going, if it makes sense. Re-engage when new developments occur. Watch what others do. Comment, applaud, or ask questions as seems meaningful. Note any uptick in their interest and be mutual. Get them to share other means of contact. They will lay out what is practical or out of bounds.

Example: At a conference several years ago, I shared about a publishing project I was working on. A Mennonite fellow I did not know made a beeline for me following that meeting. He’s from Texas and is in a sect I’m not involved with. But we’ve found common ground and mutuality. He’s expressed admiration for my work, but also noted limitations to his involvement with me. Since then, he’s been a steady source, confidant, and guide for the Plain Community people. He’s an advocate. I’ve visited his home several times. He’s suggested places to go and people to get in touch with. This is the essence of true community.

Eight:

A consistent and never-ending community breaker is political subjects or opinions—theirs or yours. While you can’t control them, you can change the subject, not answer, or share that you’d rather not go down that road. Today, the volatility of this subject—and who might be the subject—is a trainwreck waiting to happen. Once you let that genie out of the bottle, in the words of Jane Austen, “My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.” We could say the same of respectability and reputation.

Application: Intentionality in this area is key! Politics isn’t about what’s happening. It’s about dividing people into small groups to manipulate them. If we are engaged in discussions about what the political arena is doing, either we divide the room or enter into one echo-chamber or another. Neither is good.

Example: At an Amish conference last week (the Amish are usually notoriously uninvolved with political things), an Amishman tried to “gotcha” a speaker in front of an audience to create a stir. The speaker, a Mennonite, taught that Christians should avoid politics because it has always ended badly. He used the story of German Mennonites siding with the Nazis as evidence. This particular Amishman had an agenda and sought to create controversy, which is generally atypical of Amish people. Another attendee quickly doused the validity of the question, saving the assembly from a protracted and strained interaction. Politics is “the third rail” in trying to build community.

Conclusion:

Community, belonging, presence, significance, impact, and even purpose are tremendously affected in the Age of Technology. One either adapts or becomes more meaningless than not being seen. Of course, there are other arenas than what technology offers. If your community, belonging, presence, significance, impact, and even purpose involve people—at some point, or in some way—you’re going to come to grips with how technology has socially engineered many of those around you.

I hope to encourage and challenge people to be the alternative to meaninglessness, disconnectedness, and the overwhelming impact of technology on people’s humanity. Connecting with others, sharing those connections, and looking for mutuality in an Age of Insignificance is entirely up to you. Existence can’t leave you behind. But not figuring out how to engage it relegates you to the dark side of the moon.

What are your thoughts?

Related Post: https://timothylprice.substack.com/p/how-ai-is-creating-a-blizzard-of?r=3xx70z

Bibliographies
1. https://www.hurekatek.com/blog/what-purpose-social-media-and-its-importance#:~:text=The%20main%20purpose%20of%20social,broad%20audiences%20in%20real%2Dtime.

2. Ibid.